Sunday, February 02, 2025
Thursday, December 12, 2024
Gratitude: Pilgrimage 4
McIver Rd
Love for nature was born
While romping through the woods
Going on trek to the waterfall
Playing hide and seek in the cornfields
Lying down in the long grass watching the sky
The adult child was born
While saying no
Experiencing the power of my voice and two letters
I was never violated again
The child mother was born
While listening to my intuition
And the cries of my siblings and my mother
With out age, years, experience
I became a parent
and knew fear, doubt, and aloneness.
I reclaim the pieces of me that were lost when stepping into adulthood prematurely
I acknowledge the power I was given in order to survive
I give God gratitude for intervening in my times of need.
I embrace my child self with gratitude and love for her courage, resourcefulness, and trust in God.
Be at peace.
It is done.
Be at Peace: Pilgrimage 3
Limit Street
Children playing
Laughter
Swinging higher on the swings
Going around faster on the Merry-Go-Round
Sliding down head first on the side
The memories I have of this place.
Playing with my friends
Baseball games coached by my father
Learning to tie my shoes
Haunted house on our first floor
These are the memories I have of this place
Abused children acting out one another
The terror of screaming and anger and violence
Breaking records
Breaking hearts
These are The memories I have of this place
Being pinned down on the top bunk
Seeing myself outside of myself
Losing another piece of myself
These are the memories I have of this place
Prayer and community and laughter and song
Lived alongside terror and violation
These are the memories I have of this place
I send grace and healing into the ether for all the children who were violated here
I reclaim my voice for the silent child
I reclaim Justice for the violated child
I reclaim peace for the terrorized child
I reclaim love for the shamed child
I reclaim the pieces of me that were lost here
Be at peace.
It is done.
Reclamation: Pilgrimage 2
Our Hands: Pilgrimage 1
Grandma Sarah
With hands like mine
My hands like yours
Scratching my head
Greasing my scalp
Combing my hair
Weaving the strands
into tight cornrows
With hands like mine,
my hands like yours
Playing Trouble
Cooking field peas
Cornmeal pancakes
Collard greens
Rice
Biscuits
Fried chicken
With hands like mine
My hands like yours
With hands like mine,
my hands like yours
heating the iron comb
on the stove
Watching smoke as you
straighten your hair
I come to this place of ghosts and memories
Thinking of you
Thinking of you in the safe place
Remembering your voice
Remembering your laugh
Remembering your smile
Remembering the colorful things
you would say
Remembering sitting on the stoop
while you braided my hair
I was safe
I was at peace.
I am in gratitude.
I am in love.
I am home.
Where Healing Lays
This final breath to contain
a whisper of your name
the hazy vision of your face
exhaled into the ether to dissipate.
Even now, years later, the loss
sits deep in my bones
aching in my joints
lingering like a cold winter.
I have discovered it's true name
it isn't yours, it is mine
the memory of the person
I was before you, before heartbreak.
The name is mine
The loss is me
The faded visage my own
A piece of me lies in the grass
I ran across
On the train seat
where I sat
In the city that flew by
my window
In the tears that coursed
down the contours on my face.
That piece of me is what
I long to reclaim
She is who I have grieved
She is who I have longed for
She is who desires peace
No more breaths will
contain the whisper of your name
the hazy memory of your face.
This is all. This is the end.
Friday, December 15, 2023
Regret
Don't wait.
Learn now to use your voice.
Learn to say no.
Learn to say yes.
Learn to speak your truth.
Be silent for no one
Be silent only for yourself
- For my Light. I love you. I am sorry.
Wednesday, June 28, 2023
Second Adolescence
I wish for a time that is no more
A life well lived
A life with no regrets
A life unburdened with memory
A life before deepest heartbreak
A life that believed in love
A life that found rejuvenation in movement.
I wish for a time that is no more.
I see a stranger in the mirror.
I see a body weighted down.
I see through tired eyes.
I see loss of beauty.
I see lack of courage.
I wish for a time that is no more.
When words came without pause.
When movement came without pain.
When love was untarnished.
When I didn't see the price of joy.
When I didn't know the cost of love.
I wish for a time that is no more.
The time when I knew myself.
The time when I was courageous.
The time when innocence was bliss.
The time when I didn't notice my body.
The time when I didn't worry about the future.
The time when I could sleep with ease.
I wish for a time that is no more.
I knew what to expect.
I knew my place in the world.
I knew how to dance with abandon.
I knew how to be of service.
I knew how to sit in silence.
i wish for a time that is no more.
Who is this person I am becoming?
What is her place in the world?
When will she accept her body?
How will she release her burdens?
When will the mirror reflect who she is?
Let go of the past.
Let go of the familiar.
Let go of the longing for what was.
Let go of fear and step courageously
into the next phase of life.
Now is the time to cherish a blessed youth.
Now is the time to have gratitude for a charmed life.
Now is the time to embrace understanding.
Now is the time to step into wholeness.
Sunday, August 08, 2021
Ancestor Promise
In my heart the waves rise and fall.
An ocean of memory.
Memory reaching into the horizon.
The horizon of my soul.
My soul longing for roots.
Roots deep and intertwined.
Deep and intertwined steady and strong.
Steady and strong like the resilience of my ancestors.
My ancestors of dream and hope are more than a collection of pain and sorrow.
Dream and hope woven into my very being to be made real.
Made real by walking the Cedar Road of my soul's purpose.
My soul's purpose to gather up the ocean of their tears of agony and elation into my heart and carry them into our bright future.
In my heart the waves rise and fall.
Saturday, June 04, 2016
Passing Love
staring up at me in the coffee shop window
who waved and smiled when our eyes met
thank you for witnessing me.
to the young man on the subway
running down the aisle,
watching me as your car passed,
thank you for seeing me.
to the old woman in the elevator
who touched my face
looked into my eyes saying, "Ipayo" (beautiful)
thank you for talking to my soul.
to Mr. Chung who unbidden,
took my hand lovingly saying
"You are a good girl."
thank you for quieting the voice
that told me otherwise.
to the young man I passed on the street,
looking back at me as I looked back at you,
thank you for walking on
leaving the moment there on the sidewalk.
to the man who listened to me
share poetry written with
the fragments of my heart
thank you for seeing the beauty in it.
to the boy who declared himself king
and me his queen,
chasing back and forth
best friends
thank you for love untarnished
forever young.
to the man who chose to marry me
chose to learn and grow with me
chose to persevere and love with me
thank you for showing me what it is like
to have love that stays.
Finishing the Dance
stepping in time
hips swaying
feet finding the floor
swish, swish, swish
the floor answers back
heart and soul
rapt in
the melody
the beat
the drum
the horns
the words
no stopping
not stopping
as long as the music plays
as long as the music plays
i dance
i dance with heart and soul
until
the song
ends.
Caught In the Middle
Thursday, December 10, 2015
Where I Hold You
a memory frozen in time
love encapsulated in my soul
as I saw your tiny figure on a screen
as I saw your tiny heart beat
as I heard my heart smile
as I felt my soul respond.
You are captured in my five senses
a life lived, though short, one lived
as I kiss your photograph
as I think of you every time I hear
Ed Sheeran's homage to love
remembered on photo paper
as I imagine the light that is you
joining that Sea of Light.
You are my forever love
like your father
like your brother
I kiss you on your cheek
tell you I love you
look on you with wonder
overcome with awe that you
chose me.
You are captured in my five senses
a memory frozen in time
love encapsulated in my soul
as I saw your tiny figure on a screen
as I saw your tiny heart beat
as I heard my heart smile
as I felt my soul respond
and there I hold you,
and there I hold you.