Regret

Learn today.
Don't wait.
Learn now to use your voice.
Learn to say no.
Learn to say yes.
Learn to speak your truth.
Be silent for no one
Be silent only for yourself

Learn to speak for your inner voice.

Learn to be fearless.

Learn to speak with courage 

Learn to advocate for yourself.

Learn to advocate for others.

Learn to speak up even to those who

think they know 

Learn to speak for yourself even if you 

may offend 

Learn today.

Don't wait 

Learn so that you don't live with the 

regret of not having said anything. 

- For my Light. I love you. I am sorry. 

Second Adolescence

 I wish for a time that is no more
A life well lived 
A life with no regrets
A life unburdened with memory
A life before deepest heartbreak
A life that believed in love
A life that found rejuvenation in movement.

I wish for a time that is no more.
I see a stranger in the mirror.
I see a body weighted down.
I see through tired eyes. 
I see loss of beauty.
I see lack of courage.

I wish for a time that is no more.
When words came without pause.
When movement came without pain.
When love was untarnished. 
When I didn't see the price of joy. 
When I didn't know the cost of love. 

I wish for a time that is no more.
The time when I knew myself.
The time when I was courageous. 
The time when innocence was bliss. 
The time when I didn't notice my body. 
The time when I didn't worry about the future.
The time when I could sleep with ease. 

I wish for a time that is no more. 
I knew what to expect.
I knew my place in the world.
I knew how to dance with abandon. 
I knew how to be of service. 
I knew how to sit in silence. 

i wish for a time that is no more.
Who is this person I am becoming?
What is her place in the world?
When will she accept her body?
How will she release her burdens? 
When will the mirror reflect who she is?
 
Let go of the past.
Let go of the familiar.
Let go of the longing for what was.
Let go of fear and step courageously
into the next phase of life. 
Now is the time to cherish a blessed youth.
Now is the time to have gratitude for a charmed life.
Now is the time to embrace understanding.
Now is the time to step into wholeness. 

Ancestor Promise

 In my heart the waves rise and fall. 

An ocean of memory.

Memory reaching into the horizon. 

The horizon of my soul. 

My soul longing for roots. 

Roots deep and intertwined. 

Deep and intertwined steady and strong.

Steady and strong like the resilience of my ancestors.

My ancestors of dream and hope are more than a collection of pain and sorrow. 

Dream and hope woven into my very being to be made real. 

Made real by walking the Cedar Road of my soul's purpose. 

My soul's purpose to gather up the ocean of their tears of agony and elation into my heart and carry them into our bright future. 

In my heart the waves rise and fall. 

Passing Love

to the man on the street corner
staring up at me in the coffee shop window
who waved and smiled when our eyes met
thank you for witnessing me.

to the young man on the subway
running down the aisle,
watching me as your car passed,
thank you for seeing me.

to the old woman in the elevator
who touched my face
looked into my eyes saying, "Ipayo" (beautiful)
thank you for talking to my soul.

to Mr. Chung who unbidden,
took my hand lovingly saying
"You are a good girl."
thank you for quieting the voice
that told me otherwise.

to the young man I passed on the street,
looking back at me as I looked back at you,
thank you for walking on
leaving the moment there on the sidewalk.

to the man who listened to me
share poetry written with
the fragments of my heart
thank you for seeing the beauty in it.

to the boy who declared himself king
and me his queen,
chasing back and forth
best friends
thank you for love untarnished
forever young.

to the man who chose to marry me
chose to learn and grow with me
chose to persevere and love with me
thank you for showing me what it is like
to have love that stays.

Finishing the Dance

spinning
stepping in time
hips swaying
feet finding the floor
swish, swish, swish
the floor answers back
heart and soul
rapt in
the melody
the beat
the drum
the horns
the words
no stopping
not stopping
as long as the music plays
as long as the music plays
i dance
i dance with heart and soul
until
the song
ends.

Caught In the Middle

I am caught in the middle

Right where I want to be

Toeing the edge of change

Fighting back fear

Slaying self doubt

Forgetting measured steps behind 

I am caught in the middle

Right where I have been before

Transitioning from here to "where"?

Praying through word and action

Leaving confirmations to God

Perceiving His Will in His Answers

I am caught in the middle

Right where growth happens

Self reflection

Looking for God Moments

Staring down ego

Revealing vulnerabilities 

I am caught in the middle

Right where I want to be

Toeing the edge of change

Fighting back fear

Slaying self doubt

Forgetting measured steps behind 

Where I Hold You

You are captured in my five senses
a memory frozen in time
love encapsulated in my soul
as I saw your tiny figure on a screen
as I saw your tiny heart beat
as I heard my heart smile
as I felt my soul respond.

You are captured in my five senses
a life lived, though short, one lived
as I kiss your photograph
as I think of you every time I hear
Ed Sheeran's homage to love
remembered on photo paper
as I imagine the light that is you
joining that Sea of Light.

You are my forever love
like your father
like your brother
I kiss you on your cheek
tell you I love you
look on you with wonder
overcome with awe that you
chose me.

You are captured in my five senses
a memory frozen in time
love encapsulated in my soul
as I saw your tiny figure on a screen
as I saw your tiny heart beat
as I heard my heart smile
as I felt my soul respond
and there I hold you,
and there I hold you.

For Nahara

I miss my sweet girl.
I knew she existed before
my body could tell the tale.
She was a force of life
not to be overlooked.
Her energy was as a
thousand suns.
I prayed in her presence
with sacred Words.
She who visited me in dreams
speaking with smiling lips.
Waking feeling the warmth
of her on my lap, in my arms.
She for whom I waited
ten years.

I miss my sweet girl.
I knew she left me
before science could tell the tale.
The force of her life departed
with quiet gratitude.
The warmth of a thousand suns
went with her leaving a lingering
memory of her physical existence.
All 3 centimeters of her captured
along with the memory of her beating heart
hangs on the kitchen fridge.
A loving memento of her
being here for even the briefest of moments.
I pray in her absence
with sacred Words.

I miss my sweet girl.
 We will be reunited
when I leave this place.
 She is with me still
and only my happiness will
allow me to honor her.
She is the sacrifice
that has spurned my heart
to overcome fear and doubt.
The only true path
forward is to fulfill acts of service
that bring meaning to the space
that was created for her in my life.
I pray with her in the breaths
of my heart and the light of my soul
with sacred Words.

My daughter of light.
My sweet Nahara.

These Little Moments

For a moment in time your heart beat with mine
Between and on our moving hearts I knew love
I knew you
For a moment in time your soul lived with mine
In intimate communion we shared of ourselves
I knew you
For a moment in time you knew my very intimate truth
You knew that I long for completeness in service to Him
You knew me
For a moment in time you became a dream made real
You who visited in dreams come into reality
You knew me
For a moment in time I mothered you
For a moment in time you were mothered
A sacred moment intimately shared

Letter to Those Who Know

In moments of solitude
I am visited by the ugly ghosts of my past choices
The ugly ghosts of my past choices
touching the beauty of my present
I am humbled
Brought to shame
As I recognize the truth of friendship
As I recognize the power of sisterhood
As I recognize the love of soul kin
As I recognize lost moments spent
in a vain search of movie love
when depth and truth were in front of me

In moments of solitude
I see the ghosts of my pain
Apparent for all to observe
I hear the gentle reminders
of my nobility when I could not
see it for myself
I am humbled
Brought to shame
As I recognize the truth of friendship
As I recognize the power of sisterhood
As I recognize the love of soul kin
As I begin to finally witness
-with the eyes of hindsight-
selflessness and non-judgmental
acts of love

To my true friends
To my powerful sisters
To my loving soul kin
Blessings
Light
Gratitude
-and most of all-
Love