Gratitude: Pilgrimage 4

 McIver Rd

Love for nature was born 

While romping through the woods 

Going on trek to the waterfall 

Playing hide and seek in the cornfields 

Lying down in the long grass watching the sky 

The adult child was born 

While saying no 

Experiencing the power of my voice and two letters 

I was never violated again 

The child mother was born 

While listening to my intuition 

And the cries of my siblings and my mother 

With out age, years, experience 

I became a parent 

and knew fear, doubt, and aloneness. 

I reclaim the pieces of me that were lost when stepping into adulthood prematurely 

I acknowledge the power I was given in order to survive 

I give God gratitude for intervening in my times of need.

I embrace my child self with gratitude and love for her courage, resourcefulness, and trust in God. 

Be at peace. 

It is done.

Be at Peace: Pilgrimage 3

 Limit Street 

Children playing 

Laughter 

Swinging higher on the swings 

Going around faster on the Merry-Go-Round 

Sliding down head first on the slide 

The memories I have of this place. 

Playing with my friends 

Baseball games coached by my father 

Learning to tie my shoes 

Haunted house on our first floor

These are the memories I have of this place 

Abused children acting out one another 

The terror of screaming and anger and violence 

Breaking records 

Breaking hearts 

These are The memories I have of this place 

Being pinned down on the top bunk 

Seeing myself outside of myself 

Losing another piece of myself 

These are the memories I have of this place 

Prayer and community and laughter and song

Lived alongside terror and violation

These are the memories I have of this place 

I send grace and healing into the ether for all the children who were violated here

I reclaim my voice for the silent child 

I reclaim Justice for the violated child 

I reclaim peace for the terrorized child 

I reclaim love for the shamed child 

I reclaim the pieces of me that were lost here

Be at peace. 

It is done.

Reclamation: Pilgrimage 2

Jasper avenue 

Dark memories are here in this place 

Great losses are experienced in this place 

The first of many heartbreaks occurred in this place. 

In this place my father broke the sacred parental bond. 

In this place he made us prey to those who would hurt us. 

In this place, prayer and terror lived as one. 

I reclaim the pieces of myself that were lost here in this place. 

I reclaim the nobility of my soul 

I reclaim the sacredness of parental love 

I reclaim the innocence of my heart 

I reclaim the power was taken 

I reclaim the piece of My Soul 

that was separated in order to preserve and protect me. 

In this place I take my divine right to peace, love, and compassion. 

Be at peace. 

It is done. 

Our Hands: Pilgrimage 1

Lincoln Village 

Grandma Sarah 

With hands like mine 

My hands like yours 

Scratching my head

Greasing my scalp

Combing my hair

Weaving the strands 

into tight cornrows

With hands like mine, 

my hands like yours

Playing Trouble

Cooking field peas 

Cornmeal pancakes 

Collard greens 

Rice 

Biscuits 

Fried chicken

With hands like mine 

My hands like yours 

With hands like mine, 

my hands like yours 

heating the iron comb 

on the stove 

Watching smoke as you 

straighten your hair

I come to this place of ghosts and memories 

Thinking of you 

Thinking of you in the safe place 

Remembering your voice

Remembering your laugh 

Remembering your smile 

Remembering the colorful things 

you would say 

Remembering sitting on the stoop 

while you braided my hair 

I was safe 

I was at peace. 

I am in gratitude. 

I am in love. 

I am home. 

Where Healing Lays

This final breath to contain

a whisper of your name

the hazy vision of your face

exhaled into the ether to dissipate. 

Even now, years later, the loss

sits deep in my bones 

aching in my joints 

lingering like a cold winter. 

I have discovered it's true name

it isn't yours, it is mine

the memory of the person 

I was before you, before heartbreak. 

The name is mine 

The loss is me

The faded visage my own

A piece of me lies in the grass

I ran across 

On the train seat 

where I sat

In the city that flew by

my window

In the tears that coursed 

down the contours on my face.

That piece of me is what 

I long to reclaim 

She is who I have grieved

She is who I have longed for

She is who desires peace 

No more breaths will 

contain the whisper of your name

the hazy memory of your face. 

This is all. This is the end.