Giving Truth a Voice

Where to find the peace? "If you figure out howto fight this battle tell me"She said...I was silent. Silent for fear of the words crawling up the back of my throat. The words I wouldn't dare to speak for sometimes the truth is hard to give a voice to. The words fell out of my mouth. I could hold them back no longer."I know how. I am afraid to say it cause it has been the shadow in my mind. It is to serve others. It is to be God-centered."

We remember the days when we were young. The days when things seemed so much simpler. I was a servant without thinking about it. Nothing challenged the innocent naivety of youthful service. Being "unrestrained as the wind."

Now I ask her,"Are we being called to a new level of service? Where it has to be a concious effort? 'Cause to do what I know I gotta doI have to submit to God. I have to let go of what I have known to be true because the old cycles are killing my spirit."

I have become comfortable with the quiet "spirit killer". I know no other way. I am in unchartered territory. I have to submit to the Navigator. For long years I fooled myself. I thought I was in control. It saved me as a child. It protected me as a teen. It kept me focused as a young adult. No longer is home where my mother is. Home is where I am. I have stepped into adulthood. I must leave behind me the out dated survival tactics of the child hero. Where to find peace?