Letting It Be

letting it be
in all its promise
with every fiber
of my heart
letting it be
to live in the
here and now
not to wander
into the shadow of
what may be
letting it be
quieting hope
silencing "what if"
only to hear
the beat of my own heart
and love it
love it like no other

The Transformation

i am not a collection of pain.
i am not meant to spend my days
in the embrace of sadness.
i am light and happiness by day
then dark and tearful by night.
i am all confidence in what i love
but loose the ability to say "no"
when in love.

i am not a collection of pain.
i came to believe i was.
i came to believe it was all i would know.
after all i have accomplished
i still believed i needed
the validation of another to feel "seen".
i became comfortable with pain.
i knew what to do with its sharpness.
i have had enough.

i am not a collection of pain.
i see myself as i truly am.
i am a well of experience and life.
i radiate love's energy.
i live in the arms of laughter.
i am discovering the root of
my sadness so i may pull it out.
i am an attractor of goodness.
i am infinitely more than what i
see in the mirror.

i am a collection of love.
i hold within me every
look of joy i see when i am
in the prescence of those who
love me.
i am immersed on all sides
in the light of God's hopes for me.
i am happiness.
i am love.

Loneliness

i came home to an empty house
the windows dark
even before putting my key in the lock
tears began to choke me
i knew you weren't there
i knew you weren't ever going to be there

i knew i would miss you
even before you put your suitcase
in the trunk i felt your impending absense
i couldn't speak that long drive
not a word could escape my mouth
i knew the bends in the road
that were bringing us closer to
our destination where i knew
you would disappear

i came home to an empty house
i sat in my car paralyzed with loneliness
i knew you weren't there
i knew you weren't ever going to be there