10 Years In Memorandum

It has been nearly a decade since my epic dark time brought about by a young man I once loved. It has been 10 years and it seems that the visceral experiences of that time have living memories in my very cells. I cannot seem to reach the root of the wound. I cannot seem to find the correct elixir to heal. The experience, so surreal and so profound, seems to have left a wound I may never heal. I have been to numerous therapists. I have lived in other countries gathering new experiences. Experiences that I thought would bury and eventually make the past fade into nothing yet nearly 10 years later, the pain is still there. I have married a man so different, so loving, that I thought for sure I would find peace...but for now it seems, this is not to be. God, something in  me broke that I have not fixed. Something so essential to who I am was broken but I don't know what it is. I must find what is broken. I want to no longer be a prisoner to this dark time in my past. I want to move on, finally and for real.